hearts will hold [details in the fabric]

maybe it's the weather, or this city, or the new year
that puts me in a very reflective place.

(or this perfect combination of sun & clouds on a saturday morning)

what are you afraid of?
when it comes to life and love, i think everyone is afraid of something.
some people are afraid of commitment, of getting attached, of getting hurt,
of loving and being loved.
and for the longest time, i didn't understand it.
i gave freely to those around me
- my love, affection, time, and consideration.

i wore my heart on my sleeve.
i still do.

and i believed that every experience is worthwhile,
that every mistake is a lesson learned,
and it all culminates to create character.

i still believe it,
kind of...

but i suppose, in a jaded way, these experiences have taught me about taking my heart off my sleeve, building my character in a way that creates independence and the freedom in being me.
my fear lies in making the wrong gamble. my sacrifices, vulnerability, consideration turning around and making a fool of me.
[that probably explains why i have a difficult time being patient and accepting that i need to wait, to know where i stand in the eyes and mind of another. that same impatience has led to impulsive decisions that created short-term solutions and temporary gratification.]

so all this time has been an ongoing lesson and reflection on living in the present instead of dreaming about the future.
of building & cultivating supportive/affirmative relationships,
taking advantage of opportunities for character growth,
and taking wise risks that will create something meaningful in the long run.

if it's a broken part, replace it

if it's a broken arm then brace it

if it's a broken heart then face it

are the details in the fabric (hold your own)

are the things that make you panic (know your name)
are your thoughts results of static cling? (go your own way)
and everything will be fine
everything
in no time at all
hearts will hold

this is not just tea, but a cup of wisdom.
"travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light"

ps.

[jan 18]

we just celebrated lambo's 2nd birthday
during a mini-vacation in fairfield