borrowing & sharing

being on my own since 2nd year in college has taught me a few survival techniques:
learning time and again how to budget my $ wisely, efficient laundry techniques for a month's worth of clothing, and namely, the gift of a borrowed family.

and as it goes, what is borrowed must be returned,

so i hope this counts

as me giving back.

i like to think that my value for family is because of the significance of my parents and siblings while i was growing up, but i must acknowledge also that the fascination can very well be attributed to my 4+ years in sociological studies of group behavior, cultures, and [of course] families.

borrowing family is not about spending (or NOT spending) the holidays alone; it's one thing to spend time with friends, but another to have someone share their family with you -- in that moment, you are not only experiencing the company of a support system, but also gaining insight from different perspectives on what fundamentally ties people and beliefs together.

i love how a simple conversation can lead to a profound realization of how God's plan works, how blessings come unexpectedly, and how timing can be most perfect when you just let it be.

between christmas and new years, i was able to catch my mom in san gabriel before she flew back home and spend some quality girl time with her and my sister (who, btw, always has amazing thoughts along her journey as a new parent with the 2 kids). and, as always, i walked home after eating with them a little wiser, a lot more trusting, and completely encouraged.
that, to me, is what i look forward to when spending time with a family other than my own. it's not about the company of other people, but the connection that is shared. it's that sense of belonging, of a past&future, and of support

(i'm totally overthinking this, that's why it's starting to become jumbled up)

so, segue:

with the new year comes room for growth, and lessons in trust and patience.
last year was '2009, time to shine'. and i think i can say that it happened.
i learned a lot about responsibility [stewardship], patience [love], and change [life].
moving to san francisco was really about me embracing challenges and becoming self-sufficient; moving here meant moving onto my future. it took a few months for me to realize that i was being held back by my own vices, and to fully become who i wanted to become, i needed to step back and see the big picture, instead of holding onto a fear of looking like a fool.

when reflecting at church today, i realized that this year has kicked off in an awesome way.
i'm learning patience: letting it be means experiencing the reward of knowing when i'm meant to know, instead of when i'm asking to know; it means that there is a reason things aren't meant to be rushed, and yesterday, it also meant that my car would be sold in a completely honest manner without any pushing or begging, at a nice compromise.
i'm learning to trust: because things will happen as they should. and that all goes hand in hand with being patient. it's about realizing that the unexpected can [eventually] bring me to something better than i could take credit for, if i just trust that it's all part of the perfect plan.
i'm learning about love: trying to love other people has kept me from loving myself (cliche, i know), and i know that taking care of myself first will enable my heart and mind to grow so that i can give my love to a fuller extent.

i have some amazing people in my life right now, it's no wonder i love where i am today.
and i'm learning that balance
of making and keeping quality friends
and the value of my close friends across the miles,
instead of feeling the need to make new acquaintances all over the place.

i hope this all made sense. i can't believe i've been trying to put this [my thoughts] together for over 2 hours.
comments are appreciated!!

all that time I wasted is now
all Im making up
and its mine, oh its mine
now i'm not so scared of what i want
theres a freedom in just being me
and i'm flying, oh i'm flying

i cant hold back
i'm breaking out the gates & screaming

give me back my voice again
give me back my self
give me back my love again
i wanna give it to someone else
i will not calm down I wont be nice
now, give me back
-kina.grannis

when it rains, it pours // my year in review

...back to blogging. hello, i haven't been here since september 1st.

wow. a year ago, i was here.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before?
moved to a new city on my own, moved 4 different times, got stranded in a random town by myself for 2 days with a busted car, faced my debt, worked at a tradeshow in vegas.

2. Did you keep your New Years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
some i did, some i didn't, and both in kind of unexpected ways... but i definitely have some new goals for the new year.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
i think it counts to say that my sister adopted 2 kids from ghana!! that addition to the family is just as good as a birth :)

4. Did anyone close to you die?
my mom's eldest sister, my da-yi-ma. it's still hard to believe she's gone. we miss her.

5. What countries did you visit?
canada... yah!

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
more patience, better sense of self, and money.

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
april 15. one person who has made a huge impact on my life. i know we are constantly becoming better people because of what the past has given us :]

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
facing and paying off my NZ debt, and picking up & moving to san francisco on my own. in the same year! (even though the debt came right back... circumstantial)

9. What was your biggest failure?
making rash decisions, losing my 2 cameras (who took them?!), still being far in debt.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
aside from a chronic sinusitis, i managed to sprain BOTH my ankles on halloween. one of which had been previously sprained over the summer at the beach as well.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
my canon d10 shockproof/freezeproof/underwater camera

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
+my brother going FULL-TIME with his photography business and leaving the cubicle for good!
+my sister & her husband adopting emmanuel & gloria from ghana <3 style="text-align: right;">
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
why talk about that which depresseses?

14. Where did most of your money go?
citicards - a massive car repair, rent, and survival (food)

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
three things: the new kids, moving to san francisco, and my job at apple 

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
jaysean-down, kerihilson-knockudown, kinagrannis

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier/more content
ii. thinner or fatter? definitely thinner. i think i'm disappearing.
iii. richer or poorer? about the same, but i feel poorer because i'm not in denial anymore.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
saved my money while i had it. put myself first. photography.

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
impulsive decisions!!

20. How did you spend Christmas?
i borrowed someone very amazing's family :] thanks edwin!

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?
you could say that

23. How many one-night stands?
none

24. What was your favorite tv program?
2009 = addictions to fringe, grey'sanatomy, house, glee!

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
hating takes too much energy! no.

26. What was the best book you read?
time traveler's wife

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
i<3youtube style="text-align: right;">

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
given myself more time. but i have no regrets

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
transition from casual/comfortable to trendy - skinny jeans, layering, scarves and heels (not all together)

34. What kept you sane?
lambo, my awesome house in sf, my down comforter, good music, and my guitar

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
i've never been one to "fancy" celebs.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Marriage equality.

37. Who did you miss?
hana, diem, and the kiwis

38. Who was the best new person you met?
i met so many awesome people it's hard to say. so here we go:

[nick syquia] [apple  kids] [sidneyaptekar & ken hom, vegastrip]
[my roommates + jenny!] [walter&co.] [mr.fab]

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009?
+take responsibility for your own actions, because nobody else is going to.
+the willingness to grow creates character - "if it is to be, it is up to me".
+independence comes from being a little selfish first, i have to think about myself first before trying to be useful to others (this meant buying crap for people too... it took me till now to finally figure that out)

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

this is a message from your heart
your most devoted body part
taking blood and making art
this is a message from your heart
pounding away into the dark
you could thank me for a start
this is a message from your heart
-kg

thinkingoverthinking

hump day sucks.

but it's the perfect time, while i'm stuck in the slump (or hump),

to put a few thoughts down to reason (or rhyme)

[lots on my mind]

with my notice to Tustin Ranch put in and operation:SF well underway, i've had a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders. i'm determined to make the most of my time left here in Southern California, as well as get things done in preparation for the big move.

i can't wait.

the job search, i realized, needed to slow down. 2 months is a long time in job world, and it is a little early to expect someone to hire me for mid-september. i'm still keeping my fingers crossed, though.. hoping things will work out with a few of my leads.

it's amazing how things have progressed in the past few weeks. call it the secret, or the law of attraction, or just good timing... my desire to move, prompted by my difficulty in seeing a future here in orange county, put into action by a perfect housing opportunity and some really supportive friends/family. [i expect all of you to be visiting me @ arkansas -- the house, not the state -- in the near future!]

on a side note, this summer has been an awesome one so far.

i've been fortunate to (despite and around my odd work schedule) squeeze in the things i love -- beach days, lazy afternoons, close friends, sunshine, roommates, fat-people-food, making lists, planning adventures, and my superduper boyfriend justin.leu :)

[things are gonna be great]

timeline of important dates

8|20 - last day @ TRGC

8|21-23 - vegas!

8|28-30 - seattle

8|30-9|3 - portland/vancouver

9|3-9|8 - san francisco//labor day play wknd

9|sometime - MOVE

10|8 - j.leu's bday

10|10 - mr.az @ the hollywood bowl

11|13 - boyzIImen @ house of blues:anaheim

12|28-1|12 - COSTA RICA

:reading list:

+time traveler's wife

+extremely loud and incredibly close

+the story of sushi

+mountains beyond mountains

+confessions of an economic hitman?

[connecting]

this whole past week has been full of connections made, in all aspects of the word.

connections with people,

connections with new things,

and connections with perspectives.

it's definitely nice to be young... just knowing that i still have time to do take opportunities for things i'm passionate about as they come is reassuring.

anyway.. here we go. the photos.

bittersweet fun @ discovery center =)

caught up with koichi at the olde dubliner @ the district
good friends, good drinks, GOOD TIMESme, koichi, laura, dan, and alex mar!



i finally connected with the game of golf.
which needed to happen, after working at tustin ranch golf club for almost a year!
and as said in the alchemist, it might have been beginner's luck, because i had a GREAT time, did pretty well, and i'm hooked.

laura and me

we had the party cart complete with music and pink caddies

(although neither of us are pink people)

and we had SO much fun playing -- probably because we don't play by the rules ;)

it's spring! momma + baby ducks

brand new club rentals... thanks steve watson


our cart + the boys' cart


my awesome boss (f&b director @ tustin ranch) jeff, was super awesome and gave me+laura a $100 gift certificate for Scott's in Costa Mesa.
It was BEAUTIFUL. food, service, and overall experience were amazing.

it was a celebratory dinner for laura's promotion to Special Event Manager
and my [pending] promotion to full-time Events Coordinator.

my industry rocks.
tonight we were invited to an open house/meet&greet @ house of blues in anaheim
free drinks, food, and even tickets to the mary mary concert tonight!
we gave our tix away but had an awesome time networking with a few very cool people
+my business card got picked in a drawing! i won 2 tix to any HoB show and a HoB pint glass. =)

managers @ tustin ranch (minus brian).

_life is good. l♥ve it.

simple truth [beautiful mess]

this beautiful mess is still here
and 'it's nice to say
that we played in the dirt all day'
-jason mraz


there's no lies,
no wondering, or questions, or what-if's.
just the simple truth
that maybe, you're meant to grow apart
that you need to let go
to be honest with the things you've discovered
you now need.

it's a bittersweet yet comforting feeling, to know that we're on the exact same page.
that we are thinking the same thing, drawn to the same concepts,
and needing to get there completely different ways.
we've learned so much, grown so much, and now it's time to grow in some different soil.
it's a new adventure


just like the rest of my life.

i moved back into the woodbridge apt. i live in the living room now,

and i hang out with laura all the time.

plus lex and sam
the afghan the wannabe rapper. who also has a grown-up fort.. in the dining area.
it's good times. most of the time.

my birthday was awesome.
girl time was much needed, and all of us totally bonded over the weekend, talking about relationships, goals, traveling, and life.
after graduating college, i've started to realize how important it is to maintain friendships -- and unlike college itself, your friends are no longer defaulted by what organizations, classes, or activities you're involved in, but they are instead people who know who you are now, understand who you want to become, and have maybe known you in a different time. there's something about it that just makes you feel grounded and gives you the ability to candidly be yourself in any situation or conversation.
after 5 years in college, i've taken my experiences and found that i somehow have gravitated back to old friends that i've discovered have grown in similar ways as i. and it's nice that, ironically, as far as i've come from jr high and high school, and even earlier years of college, i'm as close as ever to them.
i'm not sure if that made much sense.
so here are some pictures from vegas!

first, our little misadventure... poor fiona's car w/ busted turbo :(

we got to vegas at 5am

eap new zealand girls <3 a very awesome birthday boy
thanks ken!

that's us. girls night out!

hotel preparty shot

i'm so thankful for these 3... they're so important to me <3 style="text-align: left;">
and laura took me to TUNATOWN on main st huntington beach!
that place was freakin awesome
but i got jipped on my bday dessert! stupid chef was a pervert. haha

+you and i both.

old friends, new places

friday night was my night off, so i thought it would be fun to call a few friends up for drinks.
we hit up neomeze in old town pasadena - i love this place! it was my second time here since ronnie's bday and definitely didn't disappoint.

after gathering inside and some brief introductions, we quickly came to the realization that i was among some my oldest (long time) friends.

fiona, vince, and joanne lee

it feels good to have that connection with people, and to know that they're still around after all these years of change, growth, and distance.

let's start with #1.
joanne lee and i have known each other since i was 5 and she was 3.
her mom helped my parents buy our house in san gabriel!

and here we are, 18 years later.
happy 21st, doll =)

#2 comes fiona. we've known each other for 11 years and she still makes me laugh.

#3 is vince. ironically. i always regarded him as one of my oldest friends.
we've been best friends for 9 years... and through everything, i think we're still best friends.

our girly drinks: carribean mojito, razzle, and melon margarita.
vince wasn't included. he got a beer.

and then this week, i hung out with tay-che... formerly yun-che, now known as taylor.
i call her tay-che.
sophisticated chicago girl now, no more short skirts and skin-revealing beach wear for her.
it feels good to grow up.




and to end this post,
here's a very entertaining video of henry at wokcano after neomeze on friday night.
enjoy! =]