love in paper form

[things i've realized from my paper past]

In preparation for this impending move, i finally shut myself in my room and tackled two sterilite shoeboxes that have been sitting around with my collection of notes, cards, and sentimental stuff.
(if anybody has a thing for stationary, i have a nice stack that you can have)
this all came in perfect timing, these little bits of love in a box.


a note that i came across was from someone i was really close with in jr high and through hs until she moved.
i was so naiive and sheltered at this time that i never realized the significance of the world around us. i read this last night and was surprised at how much i agree with it now, 6 years later, and didn't even think anything of it back then.

it said, "i really hope i get to go back to cali, before we all go off to college; i don't think i'll be attending school there, because i've my mind set on going somewhere else. it's experience that counts, and i don't want to be staying in one place for too long. there's so much to see out there, and when you travel, i hope you look up at the big world and say, "Life is beautiful"

(thanks christy)



these little pieces of paper showed me how much i've changed, grown, and how lucky i was to have certain people around me.

my grandmother sent me a birthday card every year, in chinese, so i never knew what they said but they mean the world to me still.

i had a stack of notes from high school, when all the girls would write to each other about nothing at all, on super fobby stationary and that was life.






i kept in touch with few people in high school, and while it's kind of a bittersweet feeling to look back and know that i left some people behind, i think it helped me to move on from that stage in my life and become more independent.
the ones that keep in contact with me are amazing and supportive (i don't think i appreciate them enough) and they, too, have grown into amazing people.



this was on written on my dorm door before he disappeared for 3 years haha


a lot of my transition into college was influenced by going to spop



and then a lot of who i am today was influenced by being a spop staffer.









Aldor[m] experience was.... interesting, to say the least.
i learned a lot, and grew up a lot too. lost some friends, and grew some more.
being in ASuci was another way i wanted to be involved, and i think it really fit my post-spop college life at the time.





i really have come a long way and accomplished a lot throughout the 4.25 years of my college career. every single thing has been an experience that has built me to who i am today and although my parents may think that i'm troubled, i think i turned out ok.



the full collection of scans can be viewed on my flickr.
<3

FOMO

[fear of missing out]

ever since the day i realized things needed to change, and my mom suggested that i move somewhere -- to vancouver, or seattle, i've been torn between the feeling of excitement towards leaving the OC bubble and starting something new, and a severe case of FOMO.

the fear of missing out...
on time with friends (what if they will never visit me?),
on a possibility of a permanent position at tustin ranch in the distant future (like i can't come back once i go?);
and the guilt
of having moved 3.5+ times in the past year (i should have put THAT on my 16 things),
of people already trying to help me out by finding a part time job to add to my repertoire (because what if they would never understand that i want a career?), so i can make ends meet and stay in orange county.

the more i think about my current situation, the more i think i know what i need to do.

i said, God... show me where to GO so i can GROW...

i'm officially a college graduate.
for the past 4.25 years, i have taken on jobs here and there, sometimes 1, sometimes 2... or 3... 1/2. part time jobs. (thank you, financial aid!)

2 years ago, i was preparing for the trip of my life.
ever since those 5 months in New Zealand, i've got the bug.
you know, the one that makes you itch for adventure, a new challenge,
the one that tells you that there's more out there than what you've got,
the one that makes you feel carefree in a place where you are the most out of your comfort zone.

right now, i work at tustin ranch golf club -- part time. i am on pool status at the residence inn. i am looking for, yet another... part-time job, to supplement my current income.
UGH.

i didn't graduate college so i could have more time to do exactly what i was doing IN college.
i love TR, and working at RI once in awhile has some sweet perks, but the situation isn't exactly what i had aspired to be doing post-grad.

a quick search on craigslist|seattle led me to this:

they're looking for an Event Specialist. i hope they love me.

anyway, IF that doesn't happen, i'll just keep trying. all i know is, i can't be bouncing between part time jobs anymore. it's not what i want to do with my life.

a lot of reassurance has come from some very important people in my life, which i'm really thankful for.

last night, when hanging out at broadway bar (which, btw, is quite fabulous), diem and i were talking about our futures, and hana moving, and how our traveling experiences have really shaped us and our ideals - the things we want, the way we see the world, and what we expect of ourselves, as well as our relationships with people.
when i was talking to hana earlier, we discussed how a lot of people later in life wish that they could have traveled, or gone somewhere different to challenge themselves and see what else was out there.
we consider ourselves lucky.not only do we already have a taste of what the world can offer and are in the right stages of life to do it (with hana going off to explore her potential in SF, me dreaming about seattle, and diem working to go on rotation), but we also have something that makes certain friendships unique.
when diem said, "we have to stay friends, ok?" i responded with "i don't think we can't be friends because our friendship was built in another world". after more contemplation, we realized that it was true, that no matter how not-often we see each other or however far away we are, as long as the desire is there, our relationship has been built to last. there's something about developing a quality friendship with someone somewhere other than home - in a stage of your life when you're allowing yourself to grow and explore and become bigger than what home allows you to be -- others may be left behind, or need to catch up, but these relationships are meant to grow together. i guess it's hard to explain, it's still gibberish coming out of my head but maybe someone else will understand what i mean too.
anyway, it's a great feeling.

i sent my newly revamped resume to tuxedos and expedia today.
hana is amazing... she did all this research on resumes and some pretty amazing stuff comes from these websites:
http://www.1stopresume.com/newsletter.html
http://www.quintcareers.com/transferable_skills_technique.html

and while i'm plugging links... i just checked out drew's for my first time in a lonng while and had forgotten how much these guys make me laugh. it also reminds me that i'm not meant to write a kooky funny blog, cuz it's clearly his expertise. check it out!

[we miss you guys.. druke]

and now... some other pictures. and things that make me smile

my very first stoplight. thanks, cyrus!

mr. vice45 himself
jeff+v... thanks for comin out guys!

starbucks just started doing a tea time, expanding on their tazo line.
i tried the black tea latte the other day and i got the vanilla rooibos for free today with a teatime coupon they gave out. they're GOOD. and they make me feel warm and satisfied inside without having to be coffee.
mmmmm <3 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.wonderfulimage.com/c&d/cj/product/oxiclean/633329.gif">

also, OXICLEAN is amazing.

we found this huge pile of dog turd in the corner of the living and i'm not kidding, it looked like straight up softserve. we don't know when it happened but then lynn and phil found MORE on the other side... just all over the carpet. we tried cleaning it up with all sorts of sprays and it just left this huge stain that still looked like nothing was cleaned up at all.

we thought it was hopeless.

sooo... i busted out my oxi clean, mixed it with some warm water, put it on the carpet and IT SCRUBBED OUT!
there's my testimonial... it's the best thing since shamWOW (which i don't have).

anyway, i'm gonna end with this picture, because it's cute and it's hana.

<3>

just me, jo.

a little late on bringing in the new year, but i've committed to blogging again.

[thanks for checking me out]

here it is. my new blog.


i'm actually pretty bummed, couldn't bring back my old one since google shut down jojoey and everything was connected to that account :(
but it's a new beginning! not quite clean and sparkly yet, but it'll get there!


as les brown says, time to shine... 2009.

in addition to blogging, i commit to...
-exercise. walking the dog, jogging, anything. and maybe eventually getting a gym membership, after things settle down a little.
-spend less and budget better. no more impulse shopping.
-making more lists. they keep me structured.
-if not blog... write, work on photos, etc. some kind of creative outlet for thoughts and ideas.
-keeping in touch with close friends. ones in new zealand that i miss dearly, hana in san francisco, ones that i hope to see more often.
-creating a book list, and reading a book a month. personal development.
-reflecting. so i can be a better friend, girlfriend, person --a better me! cheesy as it sounds. you can always better your best.


what's been up
i have no hours at work this week. pretty shitty. i still have bills to pay and a bad few months behind me.
so i'm in search of a new (3rd) job. (well, technically 2.5)
places:
_ruth's chris (between 11-3 walkin interview - today)
_houston's (3-4 walkin - today)
_melting pot (applied)
_il fornaio (must call)
_mccormick&schmicks (applied - call terri when she's back)
_taleo (try to talk to nick)
_starbucks

i need to talk to my boss at tustin ranch... see if things are going to start looking up for me.
if i'm not going to be able to pay bills here, i am seriously considering moving up to washington. seattle, maybe... or my parents suggested i live with them in vancouver for awhile.
gives me a weird feeling thinking about it. yep.

ANYWAY

hence: begins my... stuff.
a facebook post that i had fun doing.
(ps. sf photo post coming soon)

16... things i didnt realize about myself until i thought about this note...

(once you’ve been tagged, write a note with 16 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 16 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If i tagged you it's because i want to know more about you, or just want to hear what you have to say because it's interesting.)

1. i never really liked my name when i was a kid... i always imagined being a samantha, or anne like anne of green gables. i had a thing for nicknames, but i never got one till high school. the closest ever was when my brother was "farmer dan" and i was "farmer anne" and we were growing grass for his science experiment. it wasn't till high school that people started giving me nicknames. joey was my favorite. and Jo stuck. i'm not complaining :)

2. whenever i ride in cars (or sit anywhere), i have to put my legs up. i usually will sit indian style, but curling up and slouching down in the seat works too. i can't ever imagine not being able to fit on the seat that way.

3. not counting piano, i've dabbled in a lot of instruments since 4th grade. flute/piccolo, guitar, bass guitar, drumline (i played 2nd bass at football games and marimba/vibes in pit), and as much as i wish i could rock out on all of the above, i'm really only proficient at flute and piano.

4. i'm better at cheering other people up than myself. my own vices: grilled cheese w/fries inside and ranch dressing or some sort of frozen delight (ie: ice cream).

5. i'm really particular about the orientation of things... if it looks too conventional, i'll pick the opposite. i dunno, maybe its my dying-to-be-artistic eye, or just taste. i almost always prefer portrait (vertical) photos over landscape (horizontal). i love long rectangles. i can't really explain it.

6. i love setting goals, even though i tend to forget them. funny, how it still makes me feel accomplished.

7. remember when you were a kid and you named all of your stuffed animals/toys? the only toy i ever named was a teddy bear - cinnamon. and that's only because i felt pressured by my friends who had named everything they owned.

8. i got my first pair of trendy jeans in the 8th grade. they were paris blues, hipster flare jeans, $13 from Stylez for Less. I was so excited about actually having something trendy I think i wore them all through high school until there were rips on the butt pockets.

9. i make lists in my head, that i want to write down, but when it comes to writing them down it's not as satisfying. i'm still looking for that perfect method to keep my lists, and as convenient as my cell phone is, i guess it's not ideal because i don't use it very often for lists. and they pile up... lists of things to do, things to write, what to remember... and then lists of lists i need to make...

10. i love the feeling of getting earwax taken out of my ear... which makes me miss being a kid, because the pediatrician would have me lay down on my side so he could take it out and it would feel soooo good like nice and clean. doesn't happen anymore :(

11. i've been a flower girl at least 11 times in my lifetime, a junior bridesmaid once, and a "best woman" once.

12. at my 10th birthday party, my dad told all my friends that i was an accident and they didnt want me. i cried.

13. when i was young, maybe around 5th or 6th grade, i DITCHED SUNDAY SCHOOL. yes, yes i did... with my best friends wendy and kim... we went to this little room under the stairs at cefc and played mancala and talked. i got in big trouble and pastor rich never let me hear the end of it.

14. i'm allergic to cats, kiwi fruit, amoxicillin and bactrim. i found out i was allergic to amox on my birthday, freshman year. i spent the day in bed broken out with major hives from the tips of my ears to my toes.

15. some kids grow up with dogs, cats, pet turtles, whatever. i grew up having a goldfish tank and birds - parakeets. bluebell when i was little, then one i can't remember, then tinny and qwerty. and finches that annoyed the crap out of us.

16. i believe in the law of attraction, and i have very little tolerance for people who are negative and feel sorry for themselves and do nothing but blame other people, and wait for it all to happen again.