FOMO

[fear of missing out]

ever since the day i realized things needed to change, and my mom suggested that i move somewhere -- to vancouver, or seattle, i've been torn between the feeling of excitement towards leaving the OC bubble and starting something new, and a severe case of FOMO.

the fear of missing out...
on time with friends (what if they will never visit me?),
on a possibility of a permanent position at tustin ranch in the distant future (like i can't come back once i go?);
and the guilt
of having moved 3.5+ times in the past year (i should have put THAT on my 16 things),
of people already trying to help me out by finding a part time job to add to my repertoire (because what if they would never understand that i want a career?), so i can make ends meet and stay in orange county.

the more i think about my current situation, the more i think i know what i need to do.

i said, God... show me where to GO so i can GROW...

i'm officially a college graduate.
for the past 4.25 years, i have taken on jobs here and there, sometimes 1, sometimes 2... or 3... 1/2. part time jobs. (thank you, financial aid!)

2 years ago, i was preparing for the trip of my life.
ever since those 5 months in New Zealand, i've got the bug.
you know, the one that makes you itch for adventure, a new challenge,
the one that tells you that there's more out there than what you've got,
the one that makes you feel carefree in a place where you are the most out of your comfort zone.

right now, i work at tustin ranch golf club -- part time. i am on pool status at the residence inn. i am looking for, yet another... part-time job, to supplement my current income.
UGH.

i didn't graduate college so i could have more time to do exactly what i was doing IN college.
i love TR, and working at RI once in awhile has some sweet perks, but the situation isn't exactly what i had aspired to be doing post-grad.

a quick search on craigslist|seattle led me to this:

they're looking for an Event Specialist. i hope they love me.

anyway, IF that doesn't happen, i'll just keep trying. all i know is, i can't be bouncing between part time jobs anymore. it's not what i want to do with my life.

a lot of reassurance has come from some very important people in my life, which i'm really thankful for.

last night, when hanging out at broadway bar (which, btw, is quite fabulous), diem and i were talking about our futures, and hana moving, and how our traveling experiences have really shaped us and our ideals - the things we want, the way we see the world, and what we expect of ourselves, as well as our relationships with people.
when i was talking to hana earlier, we discussed how a lot of people later in life wish that they could have traveled, or gone somewhere different to challenge themselves and see what else was out there.
we consider ourselves lucky.not only do we already have a taste of what the world can offer and are in the right stages of life to do it (with hana going off to explore her potential in SF, me dreaming about seattle, and diem working to go on rotation), but we also have something that makes certain friendships unique.
when diem said, "we have to stay friends, ok?" i responded with "i don't think we can't be friends because our friendship was built in another world". after more contemplation, we realized that it was true, that no matter how not-often we see each other or however far away we are, as long as the desire is there, our relationship has been built to last. there's something about developing a quality friendship with someone somewhere other than home - in a stage of your life when you're allowing yourself to grow and explore and become bigger than what home allows you to be -- others may be left behind, or need to catch up, but these relationships are meant to grow together. i guess it's hard to explain, it's still gibberish coming out of my head but maybe someone else will understand what i mean too.
anyway, it's a great feeling.

i sent my newly revamped resume to tuxedos and expedia today.
hana is amazing... she did all this research on resumes and some pretty amazing stuff comes from these websites:
http://www.1stopresume.com/newsletter.html
http://www.quintcareers.com/transferable_skills_technique.html

and while i'm plugging links... i just checked out drew's for my first time in a lonng while and had forgotten how much these guys make me laugh. it also reminds me that i'm not meant to write a kooky funny blog, cuz it's clearly his expertise. check it out!

[we miss you guys.. druke]

and now... some other pictures. and things that make me smile

my very first stoplight. thanks, cyrus!

mr. vice45 himself
jeff+v... thanks for comin out guys!

starbucks just started doing a tea time, expanding on their tazo line.
i tried the black tea latte the other day and i got the vanilla rooibos for free today with a teatime coupon they gave out. they're GOOD. and they make me feel warm and satisfied inside without having to be coffee.
mmmmm <3 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.wonderfulimage.com/c&d/cj/product/oxiclean/633329.gif">

also, OXICLEAN is amazing.

we found this huge pile of dog turd in the corner of the living and i'm not kidding, it looked like straight up softserve. we don't know when it happened but then lynn and phil found MORE on the other side... just all over the carpet. we tried cleaning it up with all sorts of sprays and it just left this huge stain that still looked like nothing was cleaned up at all.

we thought it was hopeless.

sooo... i busted out my oxi clean, mixed it with some warm water, put it on the carpet and IT SCRUBBED OUT!
there's my testimonial... it's the best thing since shamWOW (which i don't have).

anyway, i'm gonna end with this picture, because it's cute and it's hana.

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